Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize