i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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