hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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