Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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