He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
