remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
