i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
