I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
