he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He has the fingertips of a God
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