Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
