hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just puked most of my soul out..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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