He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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