she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
