I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
