Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
COCAINE IS GR8
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
