Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
