What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
