shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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