i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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