hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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