and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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