Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
either way he was missing a nipple.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
