I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i barfeds in our rink
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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