Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's just like the Real World with babies
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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