I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
