you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
