New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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