I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
