Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize