I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
