he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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