Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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