my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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