I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
