I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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