WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
