I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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