I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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