Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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