Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
