if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize