Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
