Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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