I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
