Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
