I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
