We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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