Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
