he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
