Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
