I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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