I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
