garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
