Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
