My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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