I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize