we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
