are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
