we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
