Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
