I think my fart just growled at me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
